I figure it's about time to start writing on my blog once again. It's a New Year after all, and with that comes excitement as well as, anticipation for whatever lies ahead. Honestly, I am feeling more anticipation than excitement at this point, simply because I don't know what is next. There was a time in a my life where I thought I had found my career path and the thing I was most passionate about doing day in and day out. Whenever I imagined my long term goals (concerning my career/job) it always involved growing as a speaker, and moving beyond just telling just one story. However, a few years ago, I undoubtedly knew I was to take a step back. At which point, I became a writer at a film company, writing a film about my personal story. I gained a deeper appreciation for the art of writing and enjoyed meeting many of my co-workers. I found healing and even hope in unexpected places along the way. Unfortunately, the journey was met with its fair share of challenges and even sincere pain. With my part at the film company complete, I am once again waiting on the Lord to reveal what He has planned for the future. Some days I am completely at peace with waiting on Him and trusting in Him, other days, I feel anxious and scared that I am somehow stuck, lacking purpose and that sense of adventure which has become such a part of me. All I know, is that I cannot sit still for very long, I tend to get pretty restless. I invite those of you who want to join me as I seek out the next chapter in my life.
Along the way, there are several things I wish to see happen. 1)deeper intimacy with Jesus, through the Word and prayer. 2) personal healing and freedom in many areas of my life. 3)the ability to be more present in my marriage and my relationships. 4th and finally) discover whatever is next. Over the years I have had so many experiences and met so many people who have inspired me, which has been so rewarding, but also dangerous, because I know about all the possibilities that exist out there. I want my life to be about something bigger than myself. I want to make a difference in the lives of others, and make a mark, yet sometimes I think I can become a bit extreme and forget it's ok to just be still for a season. Our society places such a high premium on doing and achieving, which at times, can be hard to live up to. I somehow have to believe that there is purpose in the waiting.
Recently on my Mexico vacation, I read a book by an amazing author named Donald Miller. His newest book is titled, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years, is a truly charming, funny, and thought-provoking book. I would definitely recommend the read! The whole premise of his book is about living a better story. Some filmmakers approached Donald about turning his life into a movie. They informed him, his life would need to be edited in order to make a interesting movie (boy, I could certianly relate as I read) that people would want to watch. As a result, Donald goes on a quest to reinvent himself. However, the reason I share this, is because it inspired me to personally start living a better story. Let me interject one thing here... I don't want it to sound like I think I haven't been living a good story, because I believe I have, I just want to LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST-ALWAYS, and this is a good reminder to do so! Therefore, the day after I finished the book (mind you, I am still in Mexico with my family), my dad and brother decide they are going to rent a boat and go deep-sea fishing in the middle of the ocean. At first I think- "No way, not going! I'll spend the whole time throwing up off the side of the boat. I should just sleep in!" Then I remembered -the book- so I told them I'd go. This was going to be my first attempt at consciously trying to live a better story. Perhaps I should have stayed in bed. I spent about 4 hours watching the horizon so I didn't get sea-sick, as my nephew and sister-in-law threw up the entire time. Not to mention, a rain storm came, at which point I was holding onto my dad so hard, yelling, "We're gonna capsize! I don't like this, I'm scared, we will be eatin by the sea!" I know, I know I'm a drama queen! To top it all off, I didn't catch a thing. Dad and Corey each caught a barracuda, but nada for me. Anyways, I share this story, to say, I won't become a deep-sea fishing captain anytime soon. I can cross that one off my list of future ambitions- phew!
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