Love for Haiti Part 2

This photo belongs to the Livesay family and was copied from their blog (http://livesayhaiti.blogspot.com/)

The widespread pain and suffering is still overwhelmingly rampant in the small country of Haiti. At this point, we have already heard heartbreaking stories of the number of Haitian orphans increasing from around 50,000 to nearly 1 million (potentially more), the wounded left unatteneded dying from infection and lack of care, and the possibility of approximately 300-500,000 people dead. I have been following the blog of a missionary family in Haiti (http://livesayhaiti.blogspot.com/), updates from another missionary, Kathleen Willet (http://willetonline.com/), updates from my friend Sammy about the orphanage they partner with, updates from my friend Kelsey about Pam, as well as, updates from many organizations like Samaritan's Purse, Billy Graham Evangelical Association, Food for the Hungry, Water is Life, and Bluesource. I keep hearing stories of death and despair, but also stories of hope and relief pouring into the country on behalf of the beloved Haitians.

All I know is that this situation requires our prayers, our financial generosity, and our voice. We are called to weep with those who weep and bear the burdens of others. Yesterday, I witnessed an astounding display of God's great love for Haiti at my homechurch; Bridgeway in Oklahoma City. We had decided to raise money for relief efforts. After the offering was counted, our small church gave extravagently, raising over $12,000! I feel so blessed to be a part of a community who gives with such generosity and with sacrifice! Our Pastor, Sam Storms decided to change his message to reflect on the situation in Haiti and God's loving heart for the people there. We experienced an emotional time of worship led by my amazingly compassionate friends Ryan Smith and Emery Clark. Afterwards, Ryan and I shared about our past experiences. Ryan shared about his time in Turkey during the 1999 earthquake, as well as more information about the hygiene kits that will be sent to Haiti for long-term relief. After Ryan spoke, I was able to share a little bit about my experience in Indonesia after the earthquake and Tsunami in December of 2005. Recalling some of my experiences from that trip, has reminded me of the great devestation and need I witnessed. It has again reminded me of the brevity and fragility of this life. It has reminded me of the things that truly matter, and because I have been given so much and blessed beyond words, I have a responsibility to give back to others. I don't want to be remembered as pursuing the things that only bring me happiness, fullfilment or even sucess, I want my life to be about service to others, giving what I can, while I have breath in my lungs.

When I was in Banda Aceh Indonesia I was struck by the number of mass graves I saw. It broke my heart to know that many families will never know where their love ones are buried or where they were when they died. I witnessed building after building that had crumbled to pieces, and entire villages that were virtually wiped out. I visited several tent cities, temporarily housing thousands, with limited water, and poor sanitation. We set up medical clinics and treated people in tent cities, while also playing with very sad and frightened children. On a positive note, I also recall stories of people who came to faith in Jesus and people who had found hope to carry on. Although no one could change their circumstances, they found strength, hope and peace admist great suffering!

I pray for restoration of Haiti. I pray that God will restore the naiton to a condition that is even better than where it was before the earthquake struck. I pray His peace, provision, hope, care, love and relief will come to those desperate people, even as I write this. I pray He will equip all those who are already on the ground providing assistance. God's love for the Haitian's is unfailing, abiding and unshakable. His love will sustain them through the darkest nights of their souls.

I will leave you with these beautifully, eloquent words of theologian AL Mohler...
"...the earthquake reminds us that the Gospel of Jesus Christ in the only real message of hope. The cross of Christ declares that Jesus loves Haiti--and the Haitian people are the object of his love. Christ would have us show the Haitian nation His love, and share His Gospel. In the midst of this unspeakable tragedy, CHrist would have us rush to aid the suffering people of Haiti, and rush to tell teh Haitian people of His love, His cross, and salvation in His name alone."

Thank you for all the ways you have already helped- may God increase our efforts and giving a thousand-fold!

I will keep you posted, but I hope to plan atleast one if not two other benefits to raise money for Haiti. I just spoke with a friend today who has agreed to instruct a Zumba-thon for Haiti! Pray that we can pull everything together in time!

LOVE FOR HAITI

Today has just been one of those days that I have literally been feeling the weight and brokenness of the world. I have been in tears all day for the situation and the people of Haiti. I am thankful for my gift of compassion that the Lord has entrusted me with. It's during times like these as I feel my heart breaking, that I believe I am able to catch a glimpse of the Father's heart for those who suffer. It is painful, but it brings me back to a place of total reliance and trust in Him; the only true source of hope and peace on this earth. Many matters of this life, seem to pail in comparison, when something like this happens. For some it may be easy to turn a blind eye and go on with life, but it is practically impossible for me, regardless of how far away a tragedy may be taking place. Even though, I have never personally been to Haiti, I feel strongly connected because of friends and former colleagues who have gone or are currently living there.

My friend Jeremy Willett, has been waiting since Tuesday to hear from his wife Kat, who is a missionary in Haiti. I can't imagine what it must be like for my friend who is touring with his band in New Zealand and waiting to hear whether or not his beloved wife is safe. Another friend, Sammy Adebiyi just returned from Haiti on Sunday with his wife and a few college students. Sammy and his wife have traveled to the impoverished country several times over the years. They have worked closely with an orphanage there and have since fell in love with a young orphan named Bebe, whom they have been trying to adopt. Sammy and his team are still awaiting word on the fate of the children and the staff at the orphanage. Many of the organizations I have worked with over the years, such as, Samaritan's Purse, Food for the Hungry, and OneHope have teams stationed in Port-Au-Prince (where the most damaged occurred), or around the island, and again, wait to hear about the safety of their friends and family members. Many of these organizations are already mobilizing and sending teams to help with the relief efforts on the ground. They are sending water purification systems, hygiene kits, temporary supplies for shelters, food, and medical supplies. They are also working with their local partners to try and provide immediate care for the masses that are suffering and needing care. Food for the Hungry is working with their partners to assess the situation and figure out the best course of action. My friend Ryan Smith works for BluSource and is collecting money to assemble and send hygiene kits. For $3.50 you can purchase a kit to help meet immediate needs. Compassion is present, as is World Vision, Hands and Feet, Oxfam, RedCross and so many others. Please, please I beg of you, consider giving financially to any of these well trusted and very reputable organizations. I will list just a few links below you can visit and find out more and give.

http://www.samaritanspurse.com/

http://www.fh.org/

http://www.willetonline.com/

http://www.blusource.com/

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=262686972768&ref=mf (the facebook group where you can give specifically to the orphanage Sammy works with)

Feel free to check out the work of OneHope and Compassion, World Vision and others as well.

Also, please remember to keep praying. Even when we feel helpless, we can intercede on behalf of the people there.

"THE LORD IS NEAR TO THE BROKENHEARTED AND SAVES THOSE WHO ARE CRUSHED IN SPIRIT." PSALM 34:18

I was listening to a David Crowder song today called, Never Let Go and I believe some of the lyrics are incredibly appropriate...

When clouds veil sun
And disaster comes
Oh, my soul
Oh, my soul
When waters rise
And hope takes flight
Oh, my soul
Oh, my soul
Oh, my soul

Ever faithful
Ever true
You I know
You never let go
You never let go
You never let go
You never let go.


Also, I found these lyrics from God of This City by Chris Tomlin

You're the God of this City
You're the King of these people
You're the Lord of this nation
You are

You're the Light in this darkness
You're the Hope to the hopeless
You're the Peace to the restless
You are

May the peace of our Lord surround those suffering in Haiti.

Happy Twenty-Ten!

I figure it's about time to start writing on my blog once again. It's a New Year after all, and with that comes excitement as well as, anticipation for whatever lies ahead. Honestly, I am feeling more anticipation than excitement at this point, simply because I don't know what is next. There was a time in a my life where I thought I had found my career path and the thing I was most passionate about doing day in and day out. Whenever I imagined my long term goals (concerning my career/job) it always involved growing as a speaker, and moving beyond just telling just one story. However, a few years ago, I undoubtedly knew I was to take a step back. At which point, I became a writer at a film company, writing a film about my personal story. I gained a deeper appreciation for the art of writing and enjoyed meeting many of my co-workers. I found healing and even hope in unexpected places along the way. Unfortunately, the journey was met with its fair share of challenges and even sincere pain. With my part at the film company complete, I am once again waiting on the Lord to reveal what He has planned for the future. Some days I am completely at peace with waiting on Him and trusting in Him, other days, I feel anxious and scared that I am somehow stuck, lacking purpose and that sense of adventure which has become such a part of me. All I know, is that I cannot sit still for very long, I tend to get pretty restless. I invite those of you who want to join me as I seek out the next chapter in my life.

Along the way, there are several things I wish to see happen. 1)deeper intimacy with Jesus, through the Word and prayer. 2) personal healing and freedom in many areas of my life. 3)the ability to be more present in my marriage and my relationships. 4th and finally) discover whatever is next. Over the years I have had so many experiences and met so many people who have inspired me, which has been so rewarding, but also dangerous, because I know about all the possibilities that exist out there. I want my life to be about something bigger than myself. I want to make a difference in the lives of others, and make a mark, yet sometimes I think I can become a bit extreme and forget it's ok to just be still for a season. Our society places such a high premium on doing and achieving, which at times, can be hard to live up to. I somehow have to believe that there is purpose in the waiting.

Recently on my Mexico vacation, I read a book by an amazing author named Donald Miller. His newest book is titled, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years, is a truly charming, funny, and thought-provoking book. I would definitely recommend the read! The whole premise of his book is about living a better story. Some filmmakers approached Donald about turning his life into a movie. They informed him, his life would need to be edited in order to make a interesting movie (boy, I could certianly relate as I read) that people would want to watch. As a result, Donald goes on a quest to reinvent himself. However, the reason I share this, is because it inspired me to personally start living a better story. Let me interject one thing here... I don't want it to sound like I think I haven't been living a good story, because I believe I have, I just want to LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST-ALWAYS, and this is a good reminder to do so! Therefore, the day after I finished the book (mind you, I am still in Mexico with my family), my dad and brother decide they are going to rent a boat and go deep-sea fishing in the middle of the ocean. At first I think- "No way, not going! I'll spend the whole time throwing up off the side of the boat. I should just sleep in!" Then I remembered -the book- so I told them I'd go. This was going to be my first attempt at consciously trying to live a better story. Perhaps I should have stayed in bed. I spent about 4 hours watching the horizon so I didn't get sea-sick, as my nephew and sister-in-law threw up the entire time. Not to mention, a rain storm came, at which point I was holding onto my dad so hard, yelling, "We're gonna capsize! I don't like this, I'm scared, we will be eatin by the sea!" I know, I know I'm a drama queen! To top it all off, I didn't catch a thing. Dad and Corey each caught a barracuda, but nada for me. Anyways, I share this story, to say, I won't become a deep-sea fishing captain anytime soon. I can cross that one off my list of future ambitions- phew!

Busy in Germany

Pretty sure I have officially beaten all previously held records for amount of times spoken in a single day or week. My trip to Germany has been rather eventful, as I have not let a single moment go to waste, and it’s not over, I still have another week.

I am a part of a two-week event called Ich Glaubs (I believe), which is very similar to our school program, The 180 Tour in the United States. I am speaking in schools during the day and in churches at night. When I’m not doing Ich Glaubs I am promoting my book (Ich Dachte Mein Leben Ist Vorbei) and doing a lot of media interviews. Despite my busy schedule, I managed to sneak away for a day trip to see Paris with my hubby.

Just last week I spoke seven times in one day. Normally, with a translator seven times wouldn’t be so bad, but the teachers wanted the students to practice understanding English so I spoke five times for forty-five minutes a piece. Altogether, the amount of time I spoke totaled four hours and thirty-five minutes! Not to mention, that in the same week, I traveled to twelve different cities and spoke twenty-three times. Are you kidding me, that’s insane?!

My biggest prayer is that when all is said and done that God gets the glory. I am honored to participate with Him as He is changing lives around Germany, and I am thankful that I am able to speak of His great love to so many students. Every once and awhile, as believers, we have the opportunity to catch a glimpse of the impact we have on others according to His work through us and throughout recent days I have been able to see the fruits of some of my labor….

A few nights ago, I met a special young lady by the name of Banin. Banin had come to hear me speak, because she has been studying the topic of school shootings for many years. In fact, three years ago she did a huge project about Columbine, and had even seen me in Michael Moore’s movie, “Bowling for Columbine.” She was excited to hear my story of survival, but I am not sure she was prepared to hear about how Jesus has changed my life! After I finished speaking, she approached with some tough questions about my faith in Christ. For the next hour I shared the Gospel with Banin and gave my best attempt at answering questions like; Why Jesus allows bad things to happen, Why there is suffering in the world, about the differences between what a relationship with Jesus looks like compared to other religions, and about fear. Although Banin was not ready to make a decision for Christ, many seeds were planted in her heart and mind and I am confident that the Lord will complete the work He began in her. I am forever thankful He took me to that village, on that night, to have that conversation with that very special young lady!

Also, the first week I was here, I went to a school in a remote village, and a week later received the following email from a young man named Timo.

Hey Crystal

You were at the 6Th of October 2008 at our School (AHS) and you reported about the Columbine High School Massacre, I don't know if you remember me. I am the boy who asked for an autograph Thanks again. I hope you can understand my English. I want to ask you a last question. I have watched many Videos about the Columbine High School Massacre at home on YouTube after your report and I have seen how brutal it has been. And I have almost began to cry because they were so terrible and so brutal. But when you where here and told about it you didn’t look unhappy you smiled. I am surprised about that. I think when I witness something like that I don’t know if a can live normally, smiled about anything or talk about that to other people because that must brutal. And the question goes around in my head, every day after your report I asked myself. How do you managed to live a normal life and go to other people and tell them what you saw??? What gives you your innerly peace??? Is it God who gives the innerly peace ??? I hope you can answer my question.

I’m looking forward to hearing from you

Timo C.

Last but not least, I was able to pray for a fellow brother in Christ named Karim who came to faith nearly five years ago, but has been unable to tell his father for fear that he will disown him, or even kill him! Karim grew up in a very strict Muslim family and knows following Christ could cost him everything. Both his brothers and Mother know he is a Christian, but they think it’s only a phase and soon enough he will come back to the Islamic faith. It’s always inspiring and challenging to come into contact with people like Karim because I confronted with the realization of how lazy and comfortable I can be in my relationship with the Lord, and it spurs me on to live with greater boldness and passion!!

Sleepless in Germany

Guttentag mien freundes! I have now been in Deutschland for four days, and I have slept in three different places and have spoken ten times!! I guess you could say I have been fairly busy, but I have managed to see much of the countryside around Southern Germany and I have met a lot of people. I am not able to communicate with most, but some of the younger students speak good English. However, when I find myself in a situation where I am unable to communicate and I feel uncomfortable, I inevitably turn to Spanish, because it’s the only foreign language I know. You don’t have to be a brain scientist to know that Spanish doesn’t get you very far in Germany.

I am very thankful to be here. It isn’t every day I get to come to Europe for work, so I am taking advantage of every possible opportunity, even though things may be a bit busy and disorganized. To all my friends who love a well thought out plan, I am sure you would be pulling your hair out right about now. Every morning I wake up not knowing where I am going, who I am going with or where I will be staying that night. It makes for some interesting adventures, like the one I wrote about in my first blog with the wedding.

However, it never ceases to amaze me when I travel around the world and meet other believers. People are so passionate about the Lord and will stop at nothing to share Him with others! I was encouraged tonight by a conversation with a young girl who kept talking about her deep love for the Lord and how she wants everyone to experience the same life changing love. We may worship God in a different language, but we are connected on a much deeper level through Jesus. I am thankful to be a part of God’s Church around the world and it is through my interaction with other believers that I am inspired to keep walking into deeper intimacy with Him! So be encouraged because there are many who are fighting the good fight, even half a world away!

Many of you know how Africa is never far from my heart and my thoughts. It has been exciting to meet many believers in Germany who have lived there just as I have, and to share our experiences with one another. It always fires me up to talk about Africa and it makes me want to go again! Perhaps that will be my next trip. One can only hope!

I am sure most of you will not be shocked to learn that I have already taken thousands of pictures, and my new camera is getting sufficient use. I will try to post some online soon so you can view them if you are interested.

It is currently 2:00 in the morning and my body wants me to believe it’s actually 2:00 in the afternoon. I can’t seem to shake the jet lag- and I am almost certain that as I begin to settle into a schedule here it will be time to turn around and come back home, isn’t that always how it works?

More from me later, but for now I will try to catch some shut eye!

Communication Debacle in Germany

I’ve traveled enough to know that when you arrive in a new country it takes time to adjust to the culture; the food, the language and the customs. Often time, it takes a few days to learn how to communicate cross-culturally, however, on my first day in Germany, there would be no adjustment period, just a lot of really embarrassing, really awkward moments. I know I am to blame, because I don’t speak a lick of German, and if I did, I never would have found myself in this situation. Therefore, you have my permission to read the following story and have a hearty laugh at my expense.

Three flights and sixteen hours later, I arrive in Stuttgart Germany only to realize the man picking me up is nowhere to be found. So there I am, in a strange new city, I don’t speak the language, I’m almost certain my phone won’t work, and I have no idea who I am looking for other than a man named Klaus, to which there are probably hundreds of Klaus’s throughout Germany. I pull out my trusty iphone, which in theory was made to work oversees, and much to my surprise- it does! (Sorry Pete, not sure how much that bill will cost us later). I reach Klaus, who I learn, hardly speaks any English nor does the rest of the family, yet I will be staying at their house over the course of the next few days. We arrive at their flat, where I am given a tour and learn my toilet is down two flights of stairs and my shower, three flights. I then stumble to my room out of pure exhaustion from all the travel (and NO sleep) and manage to get a short four hour nap before having to wake up and speak at a church, which is nearly an hour away. I wake up late, and have no time to shower, so I throw on some jeans and a hat and run out the door, having not eaten in over ten hours. Once Klaus and I pull up to the church, we are greeted by the pastor who is unaware of the fact that I will be speaking at his church. He kept asking, “You speak here?” I kept saying, “I think so, I don’t know.” - AWKWARD! Well, it turns out, that I actually wasn’t supposed to speak there, but at a nearby church, so I walk down the hill where they are waiting for me. I can only imagine what I looked liked at this point, probably much like someone who had been run over by a train. Nonetheless, I finish speaking at nearly 10:30pm and we get in the car to drive home. Or so I thought. I fall asleep on the drive back, and wake up at 11:30pm in a parking lot, just outside of a wedding reception. Yeah that’s right, you didn’t misunderstand, A WEDDING RECEPTION! I knew Klaus and his wife, Doris went to a wedding at 1pm that day, but I was unaware that it was still in progress and that I was about to be a guest!! I look inside the beautiful reception hall and see everyone dressed in their finest clothes. Most, look young, similar to me. Klaus tells me that these people are all very rich, because they work at the Porsche headquarters just down the road. AWKWARD!! Yet, he assures me of two things, 1-we won’t stay long and 2- that I am dressed appropriately for the reception. My thoughts were only of finding some hole to crawl into and hide because I felt so embarrassed and out of place. We enter the doors near the desert table, where the wedding party is taking pictures. So naturally everyone looks in our direction as we walk in. We step over the bride’s dress and towards the table full of people! I approach, but I am not introduced immediately, instead Klause and Doris usher me into the kitchen so I can make a plate of food, even though the rest of the guests had eaten hours before. The kitchen staff is cleaning up and all the food is put away. Klaus and I make a plate and take it back to the table full of people who want to know who I am and what I am doing there! Soon, I have at least twelve people crowding around me to hear my “Columbine Story.” I try to share as quickly and as quietly as possible, so as not to draw any undue attention in my direction. Klaus and Doris then take me to meet the bride and groom! AWKWARD!! I don’t know whether to laugh or cry, but I was desperately wishing I had a friend there to share this incredibly awkward moment with me.

All I can say is that I am glad day one is over!

Greater is He in Me

I am worn out- tired of being told I don’t add up, I’m not good enough, pretty enough, skinny enough, strong enough, smart enough, tall enough, funny enough, tan enough, talented enough, successful enough, rich enough, happy enough, or famous enough.

Each and every moment I am inundated by lies through the things I read, watch, or hear. Some people have the ability ignore the constant attack, I however, cannot. I would like to stand firm in the belief that my identity exists somewhere beyond the value system of our culture, but it’s hard to resist the temptation to be something else- something better even. I have bought into everything they say - Fix this, try that, change this, wear that, pluck this, dye that, say this, watch that, do this, eat that!

It’s all so exhausting trying to keep up with all their demands; trying to have the latest, the best, the nicest, the most expensive and the most up-to-date. Not only do all these things take money and constant energy I do not have, but it also affects my confidence, leading me to somehow believe that without it all, I am less of a person. Feeling as though I need more, and want more, I become blinded by excess, always striving, always consuming, always dissatisfied, always discontent.

A disease plagues my heart- it’s bent on my destruction- and yours; for no one is immune.

There is One however, who holds a key to my liberation; One whose strength gives me the bravery to fight for the true life! The life that is waiting to come bursting forth from somewhere deep within.

I need not look any further, than into the face of true love, true identity, true joy, true passion, true riches, true happiness, true life, true fulfillment, and true beauty. When I look at His radiant and pure face, I see a reflection of His splendor that says- “stop searching, you already possess that which you seek, embrace and live!!”

Cinco de Mayo!!!

Hola! I relish any opportunity to host a party at mi casa- and Monday was no exception! In partnership with our friends Tim and Leanne, we had an all out Mexican fiesta! The rule was that everything had to be somewhat authentic. We had homemade, chips, taco shells, salsa, guacamole, and the real deal carne asada! I have never seen so much food in my life! So much in fact, we were able to celebrate seis de mayo, sieta de mayo and ocho de mayo!! I love me some Mexican food! Hope to see everyone here next Cinco de Mayo.

Mission Accomplished!!!

Today I pushed myself to the ultimate limits as a participant in the Oklahoma City Memorial Marathon. A group of my close friends and myself formed a relay team and after a lot of hard work and pain we pushed through to finish in 4 hours and 22 minutes! Despite the 48 degree temperature, and rain, and wind, each and every one of us conquered new levels of personal fitness. I ran 7.25 miles in under 1 hour, which is a personal record. While training, I had been running a slower mile time, but apparently with all the excitement and adrenaline pumping through my body this morning I ran the fastest I have ever run! An extra bonus was when we all went out for a big BURGER at Irma’s to celebrate. Pretty sure I haven’t tasted such a yummy burger in a long time!

Although my body is sore and I feel fatigued, I can’t wait until the next race. Running is like an addictive drug, you can’t get ever get enough and it leaves you wanting more! Because I felt so good after running the 7.25 miles, I now have the desire to train for the half, and potentially the full one day!! We will see- maybe I will be singing a different tune tomorrow when I wake up ☺

I am so proud of all my friends- good job Ryan, Adriane, Laura and Amy! I was proud to be a member of your team!

A Time to Remember

Today is a day of reflection and rememberance for all those affected by the tragedy at Columbine High School 9 years ago today. My thoughts and prayers go out to all of the survivors, especially for the families of those who were lost and wounded.